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Falling In Love With Yourself
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"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance" ~ Oscar WildeIt is thought that the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. This rings true for me. If you feel good about yourself then the chances are that this will be reflected back to you in your relationships with others.
Loving yourself means accepting yourself as you are - faults and all. You may wish to work towards self-improvement AND still love yourself in the process. It's about letting go of all the judgements and criticisms of yourself and treating yourself as you would your best friend. It's about having a healthy regard and self respect for yourself and appreciating all of your wonderful qualities.
Here are some tips for nurturing and loving yourself:
Be Your Own Champion!
You are unique, there is no one else quite like you in the world and for that you are a treasure and a gift to the world. Stand up for yourself, cheer yourself on, give yourself a pat on the back when you've done well and treat yourself with compassion if you make a mistake.
Look After Yourself
Many people in our society are driven to work long hours, neglecting their health and their fitness. As a result their relationships and health suffer and stress levels rocket.
Good self-care is the foundation stone of a rich and fulfilling life. Self-care includes adequate rest and time doing things that bring you joy and energy, and having a balance between work and personal life. Practising self-care can make you feel you are being selfish. But taking care of your precious self is important for your present and future well-being. It also means you are in a better position to be there for others. One analogy is the flight attendant telling adult passengers to put oxygen masks on themselves before their babies in case of emergency, in order to be breathing well enough to care for their children.
Take Yourself On A Date
Enjoy spending time with yourself. Set aside some time within the next fortnight to spend a few hours with yourself doing things that you love. It could be anything - going to see a film, taking a walk, listening to music, taking yourself out for a lovely meal. Treat yourself as you would a precious loved one. I'm going to be doing this too - I'll be going to my favourite dance class, then having a massage and facial. I can't wait!
I'd love to hear what you did on your date - you can let me know here on my blog.
Rules for Being Human
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1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".
4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that again, looks better than "here".
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".
4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that again, looks better than "here".
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
Behind The Mask
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Here is another film from the wonderful Nic Askew at www.monday9am.tv
5 TOP TIPS FOR OVERCOMING SHYNESS
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1) Ask questions
People like to be asked about themselves, it shows that you are taking an interest and it makes the other person feel valued. Before your next social engagement think of a few open ended questions that you can ask. There are tons of icebreakers, e.g.: How was your journey? Hello, how are things with you? Try to avoid questions where there is just a yes or no answer. If you put your focus and attention over on to the other person then you are less likely to be thinking about how shy you are feeling.
2) Become a Good Listener
There is nothing quite like a great conversation with someone where they are listening intently to what you are saying. The next time you are speaking to someone, make a point of really listening to what they have to say. If someone is telling you about something that happened in his or her life resist the temptation to jump in with your own example. Your shyness will soon dissolve as you become engrossed in their story.
3) Don?t Make Assumptions
Often when we feel shy we can start to make assumptions about how other people perceive us. We can assume that other people are judging us negatively or we assume that other people are more interesting, more talented more confident than we are, so we clam up, or walk away from a potential great friendship. Let go of any assumptions or limiting beliefs you have about yourself and start today to look for evidence of what a magnificent person you really are.
4) Practice with Strangers
The next time you are in a supermarket queue practice engaging in small talk with the cashier or person standing next to you. Practising with complete strangers who you are never likely to meet again can help you to overcome your shyness and give you more confidence.
5) Give Yourself a Confidence Boost
To give yourself a confidence boost, set all modesty aside and write down 50 things that you like about yourself - strengths, talents, attributes, and skills. These could be anything from: being kind to animals, being a great driver, being a good mum or having excellent computer skills. Don?t stop until you fill up a page. People who are shy often unconsciously put themselves down and it?s important to get a more realistic picture of who you really are.
People like to be asked about themselves, it shows that you are taking an interest and it makes the other person feel valued. Before your next social engagement think of a few open ended questions that you can ask. There are tons of icebreakers, e.g.: How was your journey? Hello, how are things with you? Try to avoid questions where there is just a yes or no answer. If you put your focus and attention over on to the other person then you are less likely to be thinking about how shy you are feeling.
2) Become a Good Listener
There is nothing quite like a great conversation with someone where they are listening intently to what you are saying. The next time you are speaking to someone, make a point of really listening to what they have to say. If someone is telling you about something that happened in his or her life resist the temptation to jump in with your own example. Your shyness will soon dissolve as you become engrossed in their story.
3) Don?t Make Assumptions
Often when we feel shy we can start to make assumptions about how other people perceive us. We can assume that other people are judging us negatively or we assume that other people are more interesting, more talented more confident than we are, so we clam up, or walk away from a potential great friendship. Let go of any assumptions or limiting beliefs you have about yourself and start today to look for evidence of what a magnificent person you really are.
4) Practice with Strangers
The next time you are in a supermarket queue practice engaging in small talk with the cashier or person standing next to you. Practising with complete strangers who you are never likely to meet again can help you to overcome your shyness and give you more confidence.
5) Give Yourself a Confidence Boost
To give yourself a confidence boost, set all modesty aside and write down 50 things that you like about yourself - strengths, talents, attributes, and skills. These could be anything from: being kind to animals, being a great driver, being a good mum or having excellent computer skills. Don?t stop until you fill up a page. People who are shy often unconsciously put themselves down and it?s important to get a more realistic picture of who you really are.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
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Why would 10,000 people attend this man's funeral?
I think this short film of Israel (IZ) Kamakawino Ole singing will explain why...
I think this short film of Israel (IZ) Kamakawino Ole singing will explain why...
Short film from www.monday9am.tv
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Pick More Daisies
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The other evening my husband William and I went out for a meal to one of our favourite restaurants called Pick More Daisies.
The ethos of the restaurant revolves around the ...pick more daisies poem, thought to have been written by an 84 year-old Grandma from Louisville, which encourages living life to the fullest, without regrets.
Here is the poem...
If I had my life to live over, I'd like to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would...pick more daisies.
What would you do if you were to live your life again? AND more importantly what will you do differently NOW! so that you will live your life without regret?
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Change Your Thoughts And You Change Your World
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I've recently re-discovered Susan Jeffer's amazing book "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway". This was the very first self-help book I ever read and it's message is as true and relevant today as it was then.Here is what caught my eye as I read:...
"Positive thinking is one of the most difficult concepts of all to get across to people. When I present my ideas on positive thinking in my workshops and classes, my students respond immediately with: "Oh that's not realistic!" When I question them about what makes negative thinking more realistic, they cannot give me an answer. There is an automatic assumption that negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic. Upon inspection this is pure madness.
Susan then goes on to say: "How do you even beging to turn around those miserable thoughts that take away your power? You begin by doing the same thing you would do if your body were out of shape. You create an exercise programme - in this case to retrain your mind. To do that you must TAKE ACTION!"
If we change our thoughts we can change our view of our experience in this world. An effective way to do this is to repeat positive affirmations over and over. Here are some suggestions...
"I can handle anything that comes my way"
"I am strong, fit and healthy"
"I am finding the perfect job for me"
"I am creating everything I want effortlessly and easily"
"I am filling my life with perace and joy"
It's important to always state affirmations in the present, as if it has already happened and also to state it positively ie: instead of saying "I am no longer putting myself down" say " I am becoming more confident every day"
My challenge to YOU today is to change your thoughts. Drown out those gremlin voices and their messages of doom and gloom and let positivity be your reality. You will be AMAZED by the results!
I PASSED!!!
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I'm jumping for joy at the moment as I have recently been informed that I have passed my advanced coach training through the renowned Coaches Training Institute.It's been quite a journey - challenging, inspiring and eventful and culminating in a very rigorous written exam and my final oral exam where I had to conduct two live coaching sessions with my examiners!
All in all I feel that I have accomplished something really special and meaningful.
Love Janice xxx
Certified Professional Co-Active Coach
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